Who am I?

This is something I've been trying to figure out for a long time. And something I don't feel like I'm making much progress at figuring out. What makes me unique? What defines me? What do I want? Questions I think everyone is searching for.

When Vicky asked me who I am last week, my mind went blank. I know what I probably should say, what should be the be all and end all, that I am a Child of God and that should be enough to satisfy any queries that may arise, including internal ones. If that is enough, why do I have such a difficult time resting in that?

I have always had a hard time describing myself, especially without sounding hollow and self-serving. I'm intelligent, I'm organized, I'm thoughtful and so forth. But this is not the essence of me. Anyone can rattle off a laundry list of characteristics and qualities they possess, but those alone do not make a person what they are in their core. I have a cat, I work at an ice arena, I live alone, I like Cocoa Krispies...again, not what makes me me.

Many people are also children of God, so that isn't necessarily unique, either. But God made me who I am, so it doesn't matter if I can distill my being into a neat sentence or two. My brain feels like its running in circles, sometimes!

Sitting in church this past Sunday, I had one of those experiences where you feel like the pastor is speaking directly to you. The theme of the sermon was how Jesus addresses Satan and evil in Scripture. Pastor Bob started by talking about how Jesus responded to three lies that the Devil challenges with during His 40 days of temptation in the wilderness. Jesus uses the answers to these lies as a way of defining Himself and I believe that I can apply these to myself, as well.

The lies are: You are what you DO, You are what you OWN, and you are what you RISK. These are things I have mulled over, worried about, feared, tried to avoid and generally have wasted a lot of time and brain space on. But Jesus spelled it out pretty clearly, imagine that! I'm not defined by my job, by how I spend my free time, by what kind of car I drive, by what kind of power I have, by what school I went to, and so on and so forth.

I am defined by what God has given me, what God has made me, the work that God asks me to do. And this should be enough. Anything from that list of characteristics that I can spout off is because of God, not because of anything that I made for myself.